Twenty-Five

Law of Conservation of “S”: The quantity of S’s in a closed language does not change over time. S’s cannot be created or destroyed but they can change places.

We’re all familiar with this law from our freshman year Physics of Writing class but it’s rare that we get to see it in real life. Until we come to the Dominican Republic. They tend not to use the letter “S” in everyday conversation (or writing). Words like “busco” become “buco.” “Dos mas” becomes “doe ma.” “Yos Yos Mas” becomes “Yo Yo Ma.” Etc. They are aware of the fact that the letter “S” exists and that it must be used or the laws of physics will be proved wrong and the world will implode on itself and form a black hole. They hear the “S” on the news or in their soap operas or in the lisp of a Spanish aid worker. They just don’t realize that there’s a method to their S-ness. And so when it comes time to sound intelligent or sophisticated they put the “S” back in their speech but in the wrong words and places. Just wherever they decide it sounds nice. Usually in every word that can possibly accept an “S” (This has to do with the number of valence S’s that the word has. But we won’t get into Linguistic Chemistry right now.) So “Hola” becomes “Holas.” “Acueducto” becomes “Ascuedusto.” But “Dos Mas” remains “Doe Ma.”

Now that my water system is done and I am working in other parts of the country I only spend weekends at my mountain home. And with no work to be done there it has become more like a vacation home than before when it was more like one of those trailers that they have as offices at constructions sites. Now I look forward to waking up lazily and having a cup of coffee and traveling a total of 10 meters in a day.

I’ve been using some of my time to encourage the artistic talents of my five-year old friend Manuel. We color in a Toy Story coloring book. But not in a lame kiddish way. It’s more like neo-modernist, abstract art. Do we stay in the lines? Yeah, Right! Sometimes people are all like, “Hey, shouldn’t that pig be pink?” And we're all like, “Hey shouldn’t you shut your face.”



When Manuel is having a little trouble finding his creativity, I teach him an age old artists trick called “getting plastered.” He chugs a liter of rum and the creative juices start flowing. I sometimes wonder whether it is bad for five-year-olds to have unhealthy drinking habits in the developing world but the WHO doesn’t have any statistics about it so who really knows.




Anyway none of that really matters because I just found out Judgment Day is on May 21st and the people who are worthy will go up to heaven or something. I use curse words so I probably won’t get the E-vite. Then in October of this year the world is going to end. It’s strange, and a bit disheartening, that this date coincides with my finish date in the Peace Corps. Here I thought the world would be saved when I left the Peace Corps when in reality it’s going to end.

It’s Mother’s Day tomorrow. This blog is dedicated to my Mother. Happy Mother’s Day Mom! She’s a nice lady. She’ll probably be one of the ones who gets to go up to heaven in a couple weeks.