Occupy Minivan - Mountain Time

In Denver we spent two days with my sister, Anna, and her boyfriend John. They lent us their living room for a couple nights while we explored the sights in Denver and its surroundings. Anna and John’s apartment has a pool downstairs where the old ladies do water aerobics. We tried to join them but we didn’t know the code and the ladies wouldn’t get out to let us in. It was pretty rude. We finally figured out how to get in but by then water aerobics had ended and we had to make up our own workout. For Cameron and Justin that meant doing push-ups and sit-ups in the snow and then jumping in the hot tub to “shock their systems.” Whatever that means. Andrew and I invented our own water aerobics-esque workout. Kenny took a shower.

In the afternoon we headed into Boulder, CO to do a tour of the Boulder Beer factory. In the tasting room afterwards we met three people who were on a road trip that started in Toronto and dipped all the way down to New Mexico before heading back up to Vancouver where they were moving. They were stopping and staying with people from all the different Occupy movements along the way and documenting the trip. So they’re moving to the west coast and decided to turn it into a road trip with an Occupy theme. Somebody obviously read my blog and stole all of my brilliant ideas. Leave it to the Canadians.

One of the guys on the Canadian version of our road trip was from Colombia. He had been living in Toronto painting fire hydrants for the past year. We all spoke Spanish for a while to try to distract him from asking us questions about the validity of our Occupy Minivan movement. After we had “sampled” several beers we exchanged information, vowing to meet up again but being sure not to make any specific plans that we would actually have to follow through with.

Meeting the Canadians forced us to think about what we stood for. Occupy movements are known for their unambiguous objectives. Since we’re driving through Colorado for the next few days we decided that miners’ rights would be our next cause. I went on the internet and searched for mines and found one called Copper Mountain. We set out for Copper Mountain eager to make a difference in the lives of those poor copper miners. But we were too late. The miners had already been exploited and the mines exhausted and all that remained was a ski resort. So we went skiing instead. But we made sure not to enjoy ourselves.


A sit in at Copper Mountain.


Kenny Hood shredding the gnar pow.

After skiing we headed to Carbondale, CO to regroup. Our Peace Corps friends Dan and Phoebe arranged for us to stay with their friend Kylie. We went out for some food and beer and live music and had a great time. Carbondale is a small town but it has a lot to offer. So small in fact that the lead singer of the band we were watching also turned out to be the owner of the burrito joint that we ate lunch at the next day. After the live music we went back to Kylie’s house and tried to stay up to see the lunar eclipse that was supposed to happen that night at 4am. We played board games and Kylie and Justin entertained us with their Irish Flute/Ukulele duo. Around 5 am the moon was still there so we gave up and went to bed. We had some mines to find the next day and we needed our rest. We’re still not sure if the eclipse actually happened.


Rocking out with Carbondale Kylie.



We proceeded south from Carbondale towards Durango, CO. We stopped in a small coal mining town called Somerset. We drove up into the coal mine where a conveyor belt emerged from the mountains and dropped loads of coal into train cars that went on for miles. We drove the painted minivan through the mine hoping to make our presence known. Nobody seemed to notice. Then it occurred to us that those train cars were heading south, just as we were, and that that coal would probably be used to provide the electricity that would heat the house we would be sleeping in that night. So we left and went sledding instead. This was a decision I would come to regret.


1% of stockings will be filled with coal this Christmas.

We decided to drive/occupy the Million Dollar Highway which is named so because it cost one million dollars per mile to construct. That makes it a 1%er highway. And we weren’t about to let that slide. We were admiring the beautiful mountain scenery and staring down into the 300 foot deep ravines immediately to our right when we got the urge to go sledding.


$121,342 worth of asphalt.

Luckily we had picked up some sleds at Target the day before. We found a spot that upon first sight appeared to be the perfect sledding hill. So I began to climb with the sled, noticing all of the rocks below the surface of the snow. I should have turned around there. Then I got to the top and looked down and realized that hills always look steeper from the top than from the bottom. This hill was more of a cliff. As I sat on my sled contemplating the drop, I looked at Andrew and said, “But what if I get hurt?” Andrew shrugged, “Oh well.” I nodded. “Good point.” It’s not that I was too proud to back down. I back down from all kinds of challenges. But as a “scientist” if I ask a question and don’t know the answer I am obligated to find it out by any means necessary. So I mounted the sled and dropped in. I accelerated at about 9.65 m/s2, just below the acceleration rate of gravity. About halfway down the hill I had reached terminal sledding velocity (126 mph) when my sled hit a rock that was hidden under the snow and the sled shattered. Having taken care of the sled, the rock then proceeded to bash my butt bone with approximately 16.3 tons of force leaving me writhing in the pain at the bottom of the hill. So my findings are as follows: If I get hurt Kenny will be there to laugh uncontrollably and take pictures. The other guys waiting at the top of the hill with their sleds decided that my experiment was proof enough and slowly walked back down. Needless to say the mountains seemed much less majestic during the second half of the drive. I should have known a 1% highway would do that to me.


Oh mannn, I broke my sled. And my butt.


I got attacked by a snow shark.


The only good to come of this is that I am now sitting in the ski lodge and have time to update the blog. The bad is that everybody else is skiing on a beautiful, sunny day in the Rockies while I’m waddling around the base like a penguin. Evil triumphs once again.


Sad Penguin



I bet Shaun White can't do this.

We are staying in Durango with Cameron’s Uncle Mike and Aunt Monie. They have been very gracious in feeding us and putting up with my crippled body. We went out for a night on the town in Durango. Durango was the first place where we confronted resistance to our movement. We walked out of dinner to find four drunk college kids trying to wipe the paint off the minivan. Then from behind us another drunk kid yelled, “Get out of the way douchebags!” and pushed his way through to meet up with his friends. Finally! Affirmation that we are doing something right. We met up with another of Phoebe and Dan’s friends, Cortney. She took us to a pool hall and we celebrated our first confirmed angering of the public.


Mike, Monie, Dan (dog) and the crew.




Cortney knows how to live in the present.